Back when I found out I was going to be induced, I sat down with my boss and we agreed that December 12 would be a good day for me to return to work. That effectively gave me 16 weeks off of work - 8 of which I would be working parttime from home. When we agreed to this on August 19, it seems like ages away. Now it is less than 2 weeks away.
I am definitely ready to go back to work - excited about it even. I've found a day care that I love and I really think Jayla will benefit from spending some time away from me each day. She loves being in new places and around new people so, I'm not that worried about leaving her. But I definitely have some concerns about returning to work:
1. Jayla is exclusively breastfed and I'm not ready to let go of that yet. I worry about not being able to pump enough for her. I worry about her losing interest in breastfeeding after taking bottles everyday. I worry about us losing that close time that we have for 6-8 hours everyday. I worry about finding a place and the time to pump while I am at work.
2. Jayla's sleep habits aren't where I would want them to be ideally. You can pretty much count on Jayla sleeping between 5 and 6.5 hours every night but, I'm still uneasy about it. I worry that she will all of a sudden decide to keep me up late or won't go back to sleep in the middle of the night for some reason. I worry about being sleep deprived and not enjoying my work as much because I'm so tired.
3. We are not used to being on any time schedule. I worry about my ability to get up early in the morning, have Jayla ready (whether I do it or my husband does it), get her to the day care, and me to work on time. I'm absolutely paranoid about being stuck in morning rush hour traffic where my normal hours usually put me on the road before most people.
I have come up with several solutions for these anxieties, including going back to work parttime in the beginning which would still allow me to feed Jayla myself more times than she is fed at the day care. Then I think, well, maybe I'd like to work parttime forever. But, I don't want to lose any of my benefits. Then I can't decide what type of parttime schedule to ask for. Then I think, maybe I should just go for it and see what happens - maybe my fears won't even prove to be actual problems.
I don't know so, I finally called my boss today and left him a message. I'm just going to lay my concerns out there and ask him to help me come up with a solution. He is very understanding like that and can probably give some insight. I'm expecting him to call back so, wish me luck...
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Things I'm Thankful For
1. Jayla reached a personal best sleeping record last night - 8 hrs, 20 min straight!
2. The Blood of Jesus
3. Digital Cameras
4. A two story house
5. My parents live 7 hours away
6. My in-laws live 12 hours away
7. Nice Houston weather in November
2. The Blood of Jesus
3. Digital Cameras
4. A two story house
5. My parents live 7 hours away
6. My in-laws live 12 hours away
7. Nice Houston weather in November
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Nine Weeks
What a difficult, heart-breaking, joyous, blessed nine weeks it has been! I think I am finally getting the hang of this mother of an infant thing. Jayla and I have great days together and I love spending time with her. It doesn’t wear me out like it did in the beginning. It’s just a part of my life now – a big part of my life.
Jayla had her 2-month checkup last Friday and weighed in at 9 lbs, 13 oz. and 22 ¼ inches long. So, she is officially the same size I was when I was born!!
Everyday we see new, exciting things from her. She smiles more often, she has awesome head control (even though she hates to be on her tummy), she “talks” with us more often…most importantly, she has learned to entertain herself over the past week! This was big for me because previously, her only source of entertainment was me carrying her around all the time. That got old – especially since I’m working part-time from home and obviously need to get some things done during the day. But, in the past week, she has learned to play in her activity gym and be content for 30 minutes at a time. I keep the gym in the office so, I can work and she can play. It’s been awesome.
Jayla in the activity gym:
She also loves to go outside, which is great because I love the weather we’re having right now. It just really cooled off here this week so; we’re seeing highs in the 70’s and perfectly blue skies. So, Jayla and I get out for a walk daily. She loves to taste the wind by sticking her tongue out whenever it blows. It’s really cute.
We’ve got Jayla on a pretty decent schedule. She basically eats every 3 hours starting at 9am. We’re still playing around with her bedtime routine. I can’t really decide when the best time to bathe her is. For the past 3 weeks, we’ve been bathing her after her 9pm feed and then letting her nurse to sleep. Last night, we tried bathing her before her 9pm and so she went to sleep with her 9pm feed. That put us into bed about 2 hours earlier than what we had been doing! It was awesome. But, I had to get up with Jayla at 2:45am instead of 4:00am-ish, as she seems to be stuck on a 4-5 hour pattern at night. I don’t have a problem with that but, I’ve just got to figure out how to get her straight back to sleep after she nurses at night. Too many nights lately she’s been bright-eyed after her overnight feeding, which is extremely annoying because if you put her in her crib to go back to sleep yourself, she screams bloody murder because she doesn’t know how to put herself to sleep yet. Usually, I just lay down with her on the day bed in her room. It keeps her quiet and I can sleep. Once she falls asleep, I can put her back in her crib and she’ll sleep until I wake her for the 9am feeding. But, surely, there’s got to be a trick to getting her straight back to sleep in the middle of the night. That is my only issue right now, really – any ideas?
Jayla had her 2-month checkup last Friday and weighed in at 9 lbs, 13 oz. and 22 ¼ inches long. So, she is officially the same size I was when I was born!!
Everyday we see new, exciting things from her. She smiles more often, she has awesome head control (even though she hates to be on her tummy), she “talks” with us more often…most importantly, she has learned to entertain herself over the past week! This was big for me because previously, her only source of entertainment was me carrying her around all the time. That got old – especially since I’m working part-time from home and obviously need to get some things done during the day. But, in the past week, she has learned to play in her activity gym and be content for 30 minutes at a time. I keep the gym in the office so, I can work and she can play. It’s been awesome.
Jayla in the activity gym:
She also loves to go outside, which is great because I love the weather we’re having right now. It just really cooled off here this week so; we’re seeing highs in the 70’s and perfectly blue skies. So, Jayla and I get out for a walk daily. She loves to taste the wind by sticking her tongue out whenever it blows. It’s really cute.
We’ve got Jayla on a pretty decent schedule. She basically eats every 3 hours starting at 9am. We’re still playing around with her bedtime routine. I can’t really decide when the best time to bathe her is. For the past 3 weeks, we’ve been bathing her after her 9pm feed and then letting her nurse to sleep. Last night, we tried bathing her before her 9pm and so she went to sleep with her 9pm feed. That put us into bed about 2 hours earlier than what we had been doing! It was awesome. But, I had to get up with Jayla at 2:45am instead of 4:00am-ish, as she seems to be stuck on a 4-5 hour pattern at night. I don’t have a problem with that but, I’ve just got to figure out how to get her straight back to sleep after she nurses at night. Too many nights lately she’s been bright-eyed after her overnight feeding, which is extremely annoying because if you put her in her crib to go back to sleep yourself, she screams bloody murder because she doesn’t know how to put herself to sleep yet. Usually, I just lay down with her on the day bed in her room. It keeps her quiet and I can sleep. Once she falls asleep, I can put her back in her crib and she’ll sleep until I wake her for the 9am feeding. But, surely, there’s got to be a trick to getting her straight back to sleep in the middle of the night. That is my only issue right now, really – any ideas?
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Evacuation
On Thursday, Sept 22 at 3:00am, we loaded up the car and headed to Tyler, TX. Tyler is about 200 miles from our house - the trip took 17.5 hours!!! Me and Jayla barely made it. It was excruciating. We were hot, we were tired, we weren't moving and couldn't risk using the A/C in case we didn't find anymore gas along our route, Jayla was still confused as to why she wasn't in an incubator in a hospital, I threw up, Jayla pooped 8 times and managed to get it on everything in the backseat of my car. I had poop under my fingernails by the time we arrived in Tyler!!! We weren't allowed to eat or drink anything that day. My husband wouldn't stop for food and there were no bathrooms along the evacuation routes. It was horrible. But, we eventually made it.
So, Jayla basically spent the first week of life outside the NICU in Tyler. It was great because I did have a support system there. We evacuated with friends and stayed at their parents' house. There were plenty of people to help out with Jayla, including my husband. I was almost thankful for the evacuation. Otherwise, I would have been at home by myself.
The trip back was not as painful - 3 hours + 15 minutes, door-to-door. Granted, we stayed until Tuesday where most people returned to Houston on Sunday. We just weren't taking anymore chances.
So, there you have it. In the first month of Jayla's life: the city of New Orleans was destroyed and thousands of people moved into the Astrodome - 1 block from the hospital where she lay (made commuting for us alot harder!), she endured 27 days in an intensive care unit, and she was a part of the largest evacuation (and most painful) in history due to one of the most powerful hurricanes ever! Pretty eventful...
So, Jayla basically spent the first week of life outside the NICU in Tyler. It was great because I did have a support system there. We evacuated with friends and stayed at their parents' house. There were plenty of people to help out with Jayla, including my husband. I was almost thankful for the evacuation. Otherwise, I would have been at home by myself.
The trip back was not as painful - 3 hours + 15 minutes, door-to-door. Granted, we stayed until Tuesday where most people returned to Houston on Sunday. We just weren't taking anymore chances.
So, there you have it. In the first month of Jayla's life: the city of New Orleans was destroyed and thousands of people moved into the Astrodome - 1 block from the hospital where she lay (made commuting for us alot harder!), she endured 27 days in an intensive care unit, and she was a part of the largest evacuation (and most painful) in history due to one of the most powerful hurricanes ever! Pretty eventful...
Still catching up
Why is it that I spend so much time reading other's blogs rather than updating my own?
I know I promised a synopsis of Jayla's stay in the NICU so, here goes:
The morning after her birth, my husband and I went down to the NICU to visit her (this was not without immense pain and alot of whining required to get me from the bed to the wheelchair). We were told that she would be going into surgery later that afternoon. They weren't sure yet what they were going in to operate on so they wanted to do a "study" in the morning. We got there just before they were going to take her down to radiology for the study. While we were visiting with her, one of the hospital employees in the NICU walked up to us and said that we looked familiar. It turns out that she attends our church and recognized us from when we were in leadership in the Newlyweds Sunday School class. We have since moved out of that class, obviously, but she remembered us as she was just coming in when we were going out. Anyway, she asked if she could pray for/with us before Jayla went in for her test. And that's what we did. The three of us formed a circle around Jayla and prayed. Amy (the girl) prayed that Jayla would not need surgery and would be healed if anything were actually wrong with her. Then we left and Jayla was taken to radiology.
Now, it turns out that the study that they wanted to do was to actually have Jayla consume a contrast that would outline her system on x-rays. This was in hope of giving them an idea of where her intestinal obstruction might be. The contrast doubled an enema, which was key because as they watched it go through her system, it started to unplug her. It turns out that she just had a plug of meconium that she couldn't pass on her own. Upon seeing the plug start to "unplus", they did cancel surgery - all credit given to God and Amy's intecessory prayer for us. The contrast ended up going all the way through her system eventually, which was good news. And on the 6th day of life, Jayla was finally allowed to "eat". Food consisted of a teaspoon of water every 3 hours! They were extremely conservative doctor who were ultra-paranoid that Jayla's system wasn't right. On the 7th day of life, she finally got to consume a small amount of breastmilk. Things progressed day by day but, slowly. They fed and waited for her to poop. If she didn't poop, she didn't get to increase feeds the next day. It was a painfully slow process.
Then on the 5th day of feeds, her stomach became distended again, signaling that she was having blockage/backup issues again. It turns out that she never fully passed all of her meconium. She just couldn't do it on her own. So, they immediately stopped feeds and we had to wait 3 days on them to give her an enema. That was probably the hardest 3 days. We had to wait because they discovered the issue on Sunday morning and radiologist don't work on Sunday. The next day was Labor Day - obviously they can't work holidays either. Then when they got back on Tuesday, she wasn't considered an emergency case so they didn't get to her until late that afternoon. All this time, she is starving and looking at me like, "why can't I eat!?!??" They did get the enema and did several flushes. Finally, they resumed feeds (painfully small amounts again) when she was 2 weeks old. We progressed most days, although when there was no poop, the doctors wouldn't budge. Then on day 25, Jayla was allowed to eat whatever and whenever she wanted to. It was awesome except for trying to teach her to breastfeed at 3 weeks old! Then on day 27 (Sept 20), she was released!!
That was the hardest and most stressful time of my life. I was a zombie through the better part of it. My life stopped. I was at the hospital for 12-14 hours for every single day of her stay. I wept daily for my child. I wept at the hospital because she wasn't supposed to be there! I wept at home because I missed her so much. Through it all, I trusted God and knew that Jayla was fine. I can honestly say that I never doubted Him for that. But, that didn't make the separation from my baby any easier. It would probably have almost been easier if she were truly a sick child.
So, we get her home at almost 4 weeks old, both sets of grandparents have left to return to work and her daddy is back at work. So, it was just me and Jayla. The first day was really, really rough. For some reason, it was easier to care for her when I was surrounded by nurses in the NICU! But, what made the first day with her so hard was the fact that I was trying to learn to take care of her on my own and pack to evacuate Houston for Hurricane Rita!! Stressful, stressful...
I know I promised a synopsis of Jayla's stay in the NICU so, here goes:
The morning after her birth, my husband and I went down to the NICU to visit her (this was not without immense pain and alot of whining required to get me from the bed to the wheelchair). We were told that she would be going into surgery later that afternoon. They weren't sure yet what they were going in to operate on so they wanted to do a "study" in the morning. We got there just before they were going to take her down to radiology for the study. While we were visiting with her, one of the hospital employees in the NICU walked up to us and said that we looked familiar. It turns out that she attends our church and recognized us from when we were in leadership in the Newlyweds Sunday School class. We have since moved out of that class, obviously, but she remembered us as she was just coming in when we were going out. Anyway, she asked if she could pray for/with us before Jayla went in for her test. And that's what we did. The three of us formed a circle around Jayla and prayed. Amy (the girl) prayed that Jayla would not need surgery and would be healed if anything were actually wrong with her. Then we left and Jayla was taken to radiology.
Now, it turns out that the study that they wanted to do was to actually have Jayla consume a contrast that would outline her system on x-rays. This was in hope of giving them an idea of where her intestinal obstruction might be. The contrast doubled an enema, which was key because as they watched it go through her system, it started to unplug her. It turns out that she just had a plug of meconium that she couldn't pass on her own. Upon seeing the plug start to "unplus", they did cancel surgery - all credit given to God and Amy's intecessory prayer for us. The contrast ended up going all the way through her system eventually, which was good news. And on the 6th day of life, Jayla was finally allowed to "eat". Food consisted of a teaspoon of water every 3 hours! They were extremely conservative doctor who were ultra-paranoid that Jayla's system wasn't right. On the 7th day of life, she finally got to consume a small amount of breastmilk. Things progressed day by day but, slowly. They fed and waited for her to poop. If she didn't poop, she didn't get to increase feeds the next day. It was a painfully slow process.
Then on the 5th day of feeds, her stomach became distended again, signaling that she was having blockage/backup issues again. It turns out that she never fully passed all of her meconium. She just couldn't do it on her own. So, they immediately stopped feeds and we had to wait 3 days on them to give her an enema. That was probably the hardest 3 days. We had to wait because they discovered the issue on Sunday morning and radiologist don't work on Sunday. The next day was Labor Day - obviously they can't work holidays either. Then when they got back on Tuesday, she wasn't considered an emergency case so they didn't get to her until late that afternoon. All this time, she is starving and looking at me like, "why can't I eat!?!??" They did get the enema and did several flushes. Finally, they resumed feeds (painfully small amounts again) when she was 2 weeks old. We progressed most days, although when there was no poop, the doctors wouldn't budge. Then on day 25, Jayla was allowed to eat whatever and whenever she wanted to. It was awesome except for trying to teach her to breastfeed at 3 weeks old! Then on day 27 (Sept 20), she was released!!
That was the hardest and most stressful time of my life. I was a zombie through the better part of it. My life stopped. I was at the hospital for 12-14 hours for every single day of her stay. I wept daily for my child. I wept at the hospital because she wasn't supposed to be there! I wept at home because I missed her so much. Through it all, I trusted God and knew that Jayla was fine. I can honestly say that I never doubted Him for that. But, that didn't make the separation from my baby any easier. It would probably have almost been easier if she were truly a sick child.
So, we get her home at almost 4 weeks old, both sets of grandparents have left to return to work and her daddy is back at work. So, it was just me and Jayla. The first day was really, really rough. For some reason, it was easier to care for her when I was surrounded by nurses in the NICU! But, what made the first day with her so hard was the fact that I was trying to learn to take care of her on my own and pack to evacuate Houston for Hurricane Rita!! Stressful, stressful...
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