Punishment

So, Jayla got written up at school yesterday. Ummmm...yes, she is only 4 years old and in Pre-K...why do you ask? But, seriously, the teacher filled out a form yesterday and checked the boxes indicating that Jayla was: "disruptive at naptime" and "would not follow directions". At the bottom of the form, she wrote: "We know that Jayla is starting to outgrow her naps. Can you please talk to her about staying quiet on her mat? Also, when school bell rang to end our naptime, Jayla said, 'Finally, the bell rings'."

What's funny is the teaching assistant predicted that I would laugh at what Jayla said. And I did. Then I talked to her about staying quiet at naptime, just as I was asked to do. Then I took her and Tamyra to swing at the park on the way home.

Fast-forward to home: Jayla says in her daddy's presence, "Mama, you forgot to show him my bad note." I went and got the note and handed it over to him. First, he had lengthy words with me about taking her to the park when she had gotten in trouble at school. I chose not to mention that the note did not say "and please don't take Jayla to the park on the way home from school today". I had spoken with her, which I felt was enough.

He, on the other hand, decided that she could not have dessert after dinner (her beloved apple ritual) and she could not watch PowerPuff Girls (for whatever reason, that's what she likes to wind down to before bed). And she took her punishment and only broke down about 4 times throughout the night. Each time, we took the chance to remind her of why she was unable to do those things last night and she would reiterate to us why the punishment had been served and what she was going to do to avoid it in the future, which is the same thing that I would've done even without the other punishments.

So, this is just another illustration of how different our parenting styles are. I think because I never responded very well to punishment and such, I forget that some kids do respond to it. And because my husband responded very well to punishment as a kid, he doesn't really see how I could let things go without some kind of "major" consequence. I guess eventually we'll figure out which kind of kid Jayla is. Hopefully, she's more like him...that would make the teenage years infinitely more bearable than if she's like me!