The Guilt Factor

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it here, yet. But, I started school again two weeks ago. I am officially working on my doctoral coursework. I decided to do it now, while Jayla is young, and technically won’t remember the nights that I was in class and I won’t have to miss any of her cheerleading games or track meets when she is older. I’m trying not to feel guilty. I only have to be in class one night a week (Wednesday) but, I literally died when I got home last Wednesday night and she was asleep on her daddy’s shoulder when he opened the door to let me in. He said, “I tried my best to keep her awake.” It was only 7:40 though. Her new school is wearing her out. Anyway, I decided to let her sleep on my shoulders for a few minutes rather than actually putting her in the bed. After 15 minutes, I decided that it was pointless and I should just lay her down and get me some dinner. She woke up while I was pulling her shoes off and gave me the hugest grin. Then she played with me for about 30 minutes before I did put her to bed. It made me feel so much better – like I actually had a chance to interact with her for the day – albeit brief. Just 12 more weeks of feeling guilty for being in class…and let's not even talk about how I'm going out of town next weekend without her!!