Monday, March 21, 2005

Transitioning

Towards the end of 2004, I spent alot of time talking to my friend, Brooke, about the possiblity of getting pregnant this year. We joked about how we would be big as houses because both of us have a tendancy to carry extra weight on our bodies. Well, now that this is becoming a reality (not that I'm a house...yet!!), I am having a very difficult time with it. There are noticable changes in my body since becoming pregnant and none of them would tell a stranger that it is only because I am pregnant! I am NOT dealing well with watching the numbers on the scale be consistently higher than any woman would ever want to see. I am NOT dealing well with thinking I should just wear my normal clothes since I don't yet have the pronounced pregnant belly but, I can't fit into ANYTHING except my big shirts. And although, I'm comfortable wearing maternity pants (because no one can tell that they are), I still feel silly pulling out some of the shirts that I've been collecting. I explained how unhappy I am with my body image to Brooke last Friday, Saturday, and yesterday. Her only solace is, "Well, we knew this would happen" and "It's not like you're eating a box of twinkies a day. This is all for/from the baby." Uggghhh...just not comforting when she's still sitting there in a normal-sized body (we used to be the same size!) and looking slimmer than I ever remember! I prayed about it this morning...just to have a better self-image during this in-between stage. I am 15 weeks today and I figure it can't be much longer until my body looks pregnant to everyone all the time. Hopefully that will help. No one ever told me that transitioning from a normal body to a pregnant body was so hard! My outfit yesterday was doing the trick to accentuate my belly. People noticed and I didn't feel quite as bad...

No comments: